


Missed Opportunities

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Witness Protection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Missed Opportunities

It needed to be done - for his sake as well as Jack’s, but Aaron couldn’t deny the fact that the house in which he stood was a foreign one; a foreign place that was meant to be his home with his son. Surrounding him were white walls and sparse furniture, Jack was much quieter than he normally was and his family wasn’t here.

Aaron Hotchner had always thought of his teammates as his family, but after losing Haley, he grew even closer to them. Leaving Tara and Luke was the least painful because he knew them the least, but leaving JJ, Garcia and Spencer had been much harder, especially Spencer, knowing how many people had come in and out of his life before and how it had affected him. The worst of all was leaving David. 

Something had happened between him and David he couldn’t quite describe. Though he wouldn’t describe the relationship as sexual, it had started to become more than just lifelong friends. The connection he’d had with David had been stronger than any other. How he felt about David was how he’d felt about Haley. 

As he stared down at the phone in his hand, a burner that was meant to tide him over until he could go out and buy a new phone under his new name, he contemplated calling David. He hadn’t been able to tell him goodbye - that he loved him.

The new name, Eli Mathers, wasn’t him. The lonely, sad child sitting on the couch, Joseph, that wasn’t his son. How was he supposed to inhabit this new body when he’d been Aaron Hotchner for more than 40 years? Aaron Hotchner was in love. Aaron Hotchner had people that cared for him. Eli Mathers was nothing. Was he nothing now?

—-

As the senior most member of the team, it was David Rossi’s job to be the shoulder for his friends. On the outside, he was doing just that, but on the inside, his mind was a raging inferno of thoughts here and there - that mysterious there were Aaron was under another name. Something had happened between them; something he truly never anticipated. But it had happened, and now David felt a hollowness within his heart. 

No one could say that David Rossi didn’t have his fair share of significant others. The first and second Mrs. Rossis had been true loves, the third more of an impulse that he cared for but didn’t truly love, and then out of nowhere, came Aaron - one of his best friends for more than 20 years. David and Aaron had been through hell and back together, and now he was gone. 

Aaron being gone would’ve been tough enough if it had only been himself he had to worry about, but then he would look around at the rest of his team. JJ and Garcia, with whom Hotch had developed special relationships over the years. JJ was his fellow parent, before David had known that he was one himself. Garcia was the woman he’d always appreciated for her individuality - something that he never wanted her to give up. Tara and Luke were new in all their lives, but Hotch had respected them nonetheless, and Spencer…who’d lost so many mentors before, had to deal with the loss of yet another, leaving David to pick up the pieces for his team, as well as the pieces of his own heart.

He imagined that once they caught Scratch, Aaron would be able to leave witness protection, but that one thought always remained. What if they never caught Scratch? As the master of psychological torture, would it not make more sense for Scratch to disappear off the face of the earth, so that Aaron could never truly leave witness protection? Have his memory haunt them in the background for the rest of their lives? That was David’s biggest fear.

All he wanted was for Aaron to come home and for the two of them to explore whatever the hell had been happening between them - maybe sit by the fire drinking Scotch while Jack played on his PS4. David couldn’t even define what it was, but it ripped him apart that the possibilities had been torn away from them. 

—-

Weeks had gone by. Weeks of trying to inhabit this form that was Eli Mathers. Jack, or Joseph, was doing his best as well, but as a young man, he wasn’t adjusting well. 

Aaron couldn’t pull them out of witness protection - not until Scratch was gone, but every day, he stared at his burner phone, the one he still hadn’t used. He wanted to say something. He wanted to apologize to David for leaving, even though he knew he had to. 

During the mundane goings-on of his day-to-day new life, Aaron found himself daydreaming about everyone and had they were. How were Tara and Luke adjusting? How was Emily doing now that she was Unit Chief? How were JJ and Garcia feeling? Was Spencer adjusting well without him there? And most of all, had David fallen apart? Of course he hadn’t. First and foremost, David was a pillar of strength. That’s how he would remain in front of everyone else, and then maybe in private he would allow himself to feel.

That day, after getting off of work, he pulled out the burner and sent one message before crushing the phone and throwing it out to cover his tracks. As he headed back toward the “home” he shared with Jack, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It wasn’t completely gone - and it probably wouldn’t be unless they could return to DC one day, but he felt better. At least now, David would know that he hadn’t forgotten him.

—-

Emily was doing well as Unit Chief, and everyone else seemed to be handling the transition to life without Hotch better than he had anticipated, but he was still struggling. When he got home, he poured himself some Scotch neat and sat down on the couch to look at his phone; he’d been so busy, he hadn’t checked his messages all day.

There was a group message with everyone on the team discussing dinner possibilities and then there was one lone message from a number he didn’t recognize. He clicked on it and watched the message enlarge. In an instant, he knew it was Aaron, and that he wouldn’t be able to return the message, but as he read it over and over again, he smiled.

\--- I’m sorry for what we’ve missed. If I can return, I promise to make up for lost time. Give the team my love in your own way. I miss you every day.


End file.
